Yes, I'm posting on Tumblr again for anyone who still follows that place. I rather like making long form journals.

It's been rough getting old. I get worried more often about loosing foundations and people close to me that I still rely on. I don't have a good ability to maintain connections and friendships. Twitter falling apart is really funny, but it was the place where I got the most feedback despite not producing my best work. I think at this stage it deserved to fall apart. It wasn't a great website, and we all knew it wasn't good enough to support.

Other things I worry about is my body weight and pain. I still fall back onto playing games and being sedentary. I get out to walk and move around but I get bored about it and I get anxious for stupid reasons. People looking at me or that I should be doing something else. Drawing is my job, and with my wrists and joints hurting a lot, it's become harder to draw consistently. It's what I'm good at and what I need to do to stay relevant. It's very much like Kiki's Delivery Service where if I loose this ability, or even other parts of my health, I loose a lot more then just income.

I'm not sure what I can give back to the community or people who enjoy my work without killing myself over it. I can't stop being a perfectionist, and I'm just sorry I can't fullfill the things I want to do and give people. I put a lot of work out there to get attention and feedback, but it's never going to attract the people who are willing to help me get farther.

And it's unfair to even say such things, because I have gotten love and attention from people. I just fail to give back what I get. Still, I thank the people who want to give me those good feelings and likes. You are good in your own right, and you have your own issues to deal with in your life. What I do and what I complain about shouldn't stress you out.

On Wednesday, it'll be my 37th birthday. I don't really have any plans and it seems like anyone who I could spend the day with is gone or busy cause it's the middle of the week. I haven't really felt like being friendly either, and if anything if I could get a chance to spend the day by myself doing things away from people that'd be nice. But it does feel like there's not gonna be a celebration this year.

IF you so feel inclined to be nice to me, there's always a ko-fi donation. I would LOVE to send you some stickers and things I'm selling. So buy yourself an item from the shop. That supports me and gives yourself something funny in the process. Thank you guys.

>> https://ko-fi.com/anniemae

Social media? Yeah most likely Tumblr. I'm used to it. I'll see what most other people ending up using later, but I honestly hate setting up new accounts all over the place. I have a Co-Host and a Mastodon, but I gotta get in the head space to actually use them effectively. I should get Postybird or something to help manage that.